The Secret Life of Bureaucrats

Two funny smiling little childrenWe are no longer so inclined to fire people because of the color of their skin or who they may be having sex with, and we count this as progress and find other ways of getting rid of people who are not part of our group or who are in our way.

I reply too quickly to e-mails. All our replies are too quick, we can only reply too quickly. It is only through replying that we can realize we have replied too quickly. It is only in speaking, or in publishing or sending out a text, that we can realize that there was something we have forgotten to say, or would have done better to keep to ourselves.

Those who think technology can be advanced are behind the times.

Would the world be a better place if children were not taught to smile?

We begin by handing you a notice of privacy practices. Once you have signed it we ask you to fill out a form full of personal questions that have nothing to do with the purpose of your visit.

It is difficult not to imagine that human beings everywhere act as we see them acting around us. And it is hard not to hope that in this, too, we are misled.

When television companies realized televisions could simply be left on in homes and public places, they may not have realized or cared that the programming would then adapt itself to casual viewers and empty rooms.

As our machines do more of our thinking for us, we do less.

We agreed among ourselves and told plenty of others that he was a problem, not a positive force, but every time one of our staff would work with him, they came away with such a good impression, it was hard for us to make progress.

Driving is a form of anger management.

You know the monster is there because he hasn’t pushed you off the cliff yet.


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For more one-liners: Click

For more on bureaucratic life, click on A few notes on sexuality in the workplace.

One comment

  1. Well worth waiting for! I very much like them all, with the possible exception of number 4, which seems to have something missing. (Babies smile spontaneously when smiled at. Would the world be a better place if we never smiled at them?) But I like the last one best of all. Although what I say to that is: Hang on. Even if you’re on the edge. And damn the monster.

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