English original, then versions en Français et en Español.

Strange times, the COVID years. Even the poetry was strange. For the moment, in 2026, I am living this odd poem online, but certainly I wrote better ones during those years! Readers might see, for example:

• Pestilential poetry = Poesía pestilente = Poésie pestilentielle
• The doctor said, Shake hands no more
• And the politicians are calling it “reopening”

The latter two are in English only.

I got my haircut on Zoom

Or, Plague poem #4, I think it is

It’s only 10 o’clock in the morning,

But I think I’ll go to bed now

With my laptop.

I got my haircut on Zoom.

It looks much better now

On the screen.

The government says it’s best to masturbate;

Hard but warm, with the little red power light

Between my thighs.

My friends are sending me those electronic things:

They dance and clap in orange and green

On my screen.

Français

Je me suis fait couper les cheveux sur Zoom

Ou, le poème de la peste n°4, je crois que c’est

Il n’est que 10 heures du matin,

Mais je pense que je vais aller me coucher

Avec mon ordi.

Je me suis fait couper les cheveux sur Zoom.

C’est beaucoup mieux maintenant

Sur l’écran.

Le gouvernement dit qu’il est préférable maintenant de se masturber ;

Dur mais chaud, et la petite lumière rouge

Eclaire mes cuisses.

Les amis m’envoient ces choses électroniques

Qui dansent et applaudissent en orange et en vert, désespérantes

Sur l’écran.

Español

Me corté el pelo con Zoom

O, el poema de la peste #4, creo que es

Son sólo las 10 de la mañana,

pero creo que me iré a la cama ahora.

con mi portátil.

Me corté el pelo con Zoom.

Se ve mucho mejor ahora

en la pantalla.

El gobierno dice que es mejor masturbarse ahora,

y es duro y cálido, con su pequeña luz roja

que iIlumina mis muslos.

Mis amigos me están enviando esas cosas electrónicas

que bailan y aplauden… niños verde y naranja,

mi pantalla desbordada.

— Poem(s) and watercolor by William Eaton

∩ As regards the government and masturbation, see the New York City Department of Health’s March 27, 2020 bulletin Sex and Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19), with its: “You are your safest sex partner. Masturbation will not spread COVID-19, especially if you wash your hands (and any sex toys) with soap and water for at least 20 seconds before and after sex.” And it goes on: “Kissing can easily pass COVID-19 . . . ” (Underscoring and boldfacing in the original.)