Le français seguido de una versión en español and the original draft, in English. There is also a Notes section in English at the end.

Une astuce pour les lecteurs francophones o consejo para lectores hispanohablantes:

Worse things have happened to nicer people = Des choses plus graves sont arrivées à des gens plus sympathiques = Cosas peores le han pasado a gente más agradable

Juste avant mon retour à Paris

J’ai dit à une serveuse new-yorkaise que je n’aimais pas m’asseoir au soleil.

Elle m’a répondu : « Moi non plus. »

Je me suis demandé si nous allions coucher ensemble.

Je lui ai dit que mon expression préférée était “Worse things have happened to nicer people.”

Cela n’avait aucun sens pour elle.

Cela demandait plus de réflexion qu’elle n’était prête à faire.

Sa silhouette encore jeune était joliment dessinée dans une jupe en tricot et un chandail léger.

Elle m’a dit que son expression préférée était « Thank you ».

Elle voulait absolument que je commande quelque chose dans la carte des desserts.

Je ne voulais pas de dessert, de sucre,

Mais le prix augmenterait son pourboire.

J’ai commandé des fruits des bois avec de la crème.

J’avais oublié, ne serait-ce que brièvement, que les fruits des bois me donnaient la nausée.

Mais je n’en ai rien dit à la serveuse.

Et alors que je rassemblais mes affaires, sur le point de partir, elle s’est approchée et m’a dit qu’elle y avait réfléchi, et qu’en fait son expression préférée était

« This is real life. It isn’t a dress rehearsal. »

(C’est la vraie vie. Ce n’est pas une répétition.)

À cause de mon âge ou de mes cheveux en bataille,

À Charles de Gaulle, ils m’ont laissé passer dans la ligne VIP.

J’étais dans le RER et de retour dans le 5e en moins d’une heure.

Des choses bien pires sont arrivées à des gens plus gentils.

Español

Justo antes de volver a París

Le dije a una camarera de Nueva York que no me gustaba sentarme al sol.

Ella dijo: « Yo tampoco ».

Me preguntaba si nos íbamos a acostar juntos.

Le dije que mi frase favorita era « Worse things have happened to nicer people ».

No tenía sentido para ella.

Requería más reflexión de la que estaba dispuesta a dar.

Su figura, todavía joven, estaba bien perfilada con una falda de punto y un jersey ligero.

Me dijo que su expresión favorita era « Thank you ».

Insistió en que pidiera algo del menú de postres.

No quería el postre, azúcar,

Pero el precio aumentaría su propina.

Pedí bayas con crema.

Había olvidado, aunque sea brevemente, cómo ciertas bayas me revuelven el estómago.

No se lo dije a la camarera.

Y mientras recogía mis cosas, a punto de irme, se acercó y dijo que había estado pensando en ello, y que de hecho su frase favorita era

« This is real life. It isn’t a dress rehearsal. »

(Esto es la vida real, no es un ensayo.)

Por mi edad o por mi pelo enmarañado,

Al llegar al aeropuerto de París me dejaron ir en la fila VIP.

Estaba en el tren y de vuelta en el Barrio Latino en menos de una hora.

Cosas peores le han pasado a gente más agradable.

English original

Just before I moved back to Paris

I told a New York waitress that I did not like to sit in the sun.

She said, “Me neither.”

I wondered if we were going to sleep together.

My favorite expression, I told her, was “Worse things have happened to nicer people.”

This did not make sense to her.

It demanded more thinking than she was prepared to do.

Her youthful figure was nicely outlined in a knit skirt and light sweater.

She told me her favorite expression was “Thank you.”

She was eager that I order something from the dessert menu.

I didn’t want dessert, sugar.

But the price would increase her tip.

I ordered the berries with cream.

I had forgotten, if only briefly, that les fruits du bois – raspberries and blackberries – make me sick to my stomach,

But I didn’t tell the waitress this.

And as I was gathering my things, about to leave, she came over and said that she’d been thinking about it, and in fact her favorite expression was

“This is real life. It isn’t a dress rehearsal.”

Because of my age perhaps or my scraggly hair

At Charles de Gaulle they let me go in the VIP line.

I was on the RER and back in the Latin Quarter in less than an hour.

Worse things have happened to nicer people.

Notes

1. I learned the expression “Worse things have happened to nicer people” from Rita Mae Brown, an American writer, born 1944, best known for her coming-of-age autobiographical novel, Rubyfruit Jungle. The expression appears in that novel, where it is attributed to Ms. Brown’s mother. Rita Mae also, and most generously, sent a kind word to appear on the back of a novel of mine, published in the US in 1986.

2. As for the waitress’s “This is real life; it isn’t a dress rehearsal,” my American brother-in-law told me this was his mother’s favorite expression, and what it meant to her was on the lines of carpe diem: make the most of every day. My first thought, however, was that for “my” waitress, the expression served to remind her that her appearance and what she said to other people mattered greatly; she had always to be on her best behavior, or doing the very best acting job she could.

Back in Paris, I was walking along the Seine one afternoon and came across a man dressed in rags and with a long-tailed turban of gold and silver foil, a scrap picked up somewhere. He had drifted off the path and was declaiming above the bushes to no one, not even to the river, and not necessarily in French or any other shared language. All that he was saying, passionately, could not be understood by anyone but him. And yet I felt as if he was saying to both himself and the world: “This is real life. It isn’t a dress rehearsal.”

— Poem(s) and artwork by William Eaton.