In the midst of this terrible heat wave in France (and other parts of Western Europe), I was reminded of a one-liner I drafted some time ago (and an earlier version was published, along with other one-liners, in 4 billion eggs):

It took human beings several decades to realize that global warming meant it was going to get too hot.

Il a fallu plusieurs décennies aux êtres humains pour réaliser que le réchauffement planétaire signifiait qu’il allait faire trop chaud.

Tomó décadas a los seres humanos para darse cuenta de que el calentamiento global significaba que sería demasiado caliente.

The image featured here is a still from a video made by the German oceanographer and climatologist Stefan Rahmstorf, the subject being the first in Lucanau, France in July 2026.

Some words from Rahmstorf that appeared in The Guardian, which also posted the video:

What people are not getting is that we can’t turn this back—the CO2 to a large part remains in the air for thousands of years,” said Rahmstorf. “Some people think we can wait and, when it gets too bad, then we reduce emissions and things will get better again. People don’t realise that we can’t make it get better again. We can only prevent it from getting much worse.

Yes, that is among the things many people are not getting. And nor are most political leaders helping raise consciousness, among others or in their own minds. There are those clinging to a fantasy that the current changes (and their rapidity and intensity) are nothing new, the world’s climate is always changing. And there are those who seem to find some comfort in the idea that if catastrophe is upon us, there’s no point in our changing our ways, in taking steps to reduce the devastation. I am particularly struck that many of the people holding these views have children and grandchildren, many of whom are likely to wish their older relatives had shown enough courage to face the facts.


Meanwhile, and much less tragically, my days, or years, of one-liner writing would seem to have come to an end, more or less, but every once in a while I jot one down. Herewith favorites from the past year or so (followed par traductions rudimentaires (traducciones rudimentarias) en français y en español):

• The differences we find in others help take our minds off the similarities.
• There is not a fair allocation of resources, there are negotiations, conflicts, in which the word “fair” is used.
• Does the drive to de-eroticize breasts involve and reify an idea that breasts are nothing special or no longer are?
• God forbid when you call a business a human being answers the phone!
• Before the war a leading source of funds for French fascist vigilantes was the leader of L’Oréal. Where’s the beauty in that?
• Please don’t turn off our TVs before we learn to find the off switch.
• They got so caught up in killing one another they forgot our common goal: to destroy the planet. (To say nothing of other species.)
• Domination’s easier than cooperation.
• The three ages of man: When you could be her boyfriend, when you could be her father, when you couldn’t.
• Does an invasive species know it’s an invasive species?

Français

Phrases

• Les différences que nous observons chez les autres nous aident à oublier nos points communs.
• La volonté de « désérotiser » les seins implique-t-elle et réifie-t-elle l’idée que les seins n’ont rien de spécial ou ne le sont plus ?
• Bon sang, qu’il ne se passe surtout pas que, lorsque vous appelez une entreprise, ce soit un être humain qui décroche !
• Avant la guerre, l’une des principales sources de financement des milices fascistes françaises était le dirigeant de L’Oréal. Où est la beauté là-dedans ?
• S’il vous plaît, n’éteignez pas nos téléviseurs avant que nous ayons appris à trouver le bouton d’arrêt.
• Ils étaient tellement pris par le fait de s’entre-tuer qu’ils ont oublié notre projet commun : détruire la planète. (Sans parler des autres espèces.)
• La domination est plus facile que la coopération.
• Les trois âges de l’homme : quand on pouvait être son petit ami, quand on pouvait être son père, quand on ne le pouvait plus.
• Une espèce envahissante sait-elle qu’elle est une espèce envahissante ?

Español

Frases

• Las diferencias que encontramos en los demás nos ayudan a dejar de pensar en las similitudes.
• ¿Implica y reifica el impulso de deserotizar los pechos la idea de que estos no tienen nada de especial o de que ya no lo tienen?
• ¡Dios no permita que cuando llamas a un negocio un ser humano responda al teléfono!
• Antes de la guerra, una de las principales fuentes de financiación de los vigilantes fascistas franceses era el líder de L’Oréal. ¿Dónde está la belleza en eso?
• Por favor, no apaguen nuestros televisores antes de que aprendamos a encontrar el botón de apagado.
• Estaban tan absortos en matarse unos a otros que se olvidaron de nuestro objetivo común: destruir el planeta. (Por no hablar de otras especies.)
• Dominar es más fácil que cooperar.
• Las tres edades del hombre: cuando podrías ser su novio, cuando podrías ser su padre, cuando no podrías.
• ¿Sabe una especie invasora que es una especie invasora?

— One-liners by William Eaton. Please note that the image snipped from Stefan Rahmstorf’s video replaced a photograph of my own, “L’exquis, moi” (The exquisite, me), which was first published with this piece.